Returning to the lecture halls

I am in week two of my return to UNR. I cannot fall asleep tonight because my mind is racing with stimulation from my two classes. I was lying awake thinking about how wonderfully all the pieces of the building blocks that I love fit together and support one another. I am creatively thinking about how my passions link together.  My love for yoga, pranayama, anatomy, laughter yoga, meditation and even sex ed all support me in studying Speech Pathology and Audiology.

Interesting fact of the day there are about 329 striated muscles (skeletal muscles) and all but two are paired. The only non paired muscles are the diaphragm and the procerus muscle, the muscle between the eyebrows, which people get botox injections in.

miscarriages and dildos, this is why I love the HBO series, Six Feet Under

In our episode marathoning life, John and I are just beginning the fifth and final season of Six Feet Under. This brilliant HBO series is one to put in my favorites list. I admire the way the series takes topics that we are conditioned not to talk about and puts it on the screen, most commonly death. The subject that is taboo to talk about, even though we will all die and within our lifetime, we will experience death around us.
 This weekend we watched the season 5 premiere,  A Coat of White Primer. Brenda and Nate finally get married, of course the day does not live up to a wonderful happy wedding.  Brenda has a miscarriage just before the wedding. When Brenda's mom finds out, in an attempt to comfort her she says, "honey, more women have miscarriages than have masturbated with a dildo, they just don't talk about it." This is why I love this show, there is quite some truth to that, no one talks about having a miscarriage because it is so dam sad and there is conditioning to have shame about miscarriages. Moments later in this episode, Brenda imagines Lisa blaming her for the miscarriage. In my opinion, this is more often the messages that women get about miscarriages. That they have done something wrong or it is a punishment for previous sexual experiences.  Oh how I wish that would change, It is quite common for women to experience a miscarriage for a world of different reasons. I would love to participate and see a paradigm shift where we talk about the had stuff death, sadness, masturbation and experiences with miscarriages, this would help embrace all experiences in our life.

stuck on a theme...

I felt stuck this morning. I spent more energy and courage to avoiding writing.
I was hung up on the thought that I have to pick a theme for my virtual space.  My morning dog walk was consumed with thoughts about a theme of the blog. What do I want to expend my energies on?
Then I asked myself the most relevant question, why am I trying to pic a theme. I began expanding into this virtual space as a exploration for myself and a place to get thoughts down.  How quickly I have already began to care about what others think.

the "wo ho" factor

Brothers Skate park, Mammoth, CA

Yesterday, I had the wonderful pleasure of driving to Carson City and Silver Springs work diffrent work assignments. I embraced the opportunity to nourish myself with music and podcasts during the drive. I listened to one podcast from the radio show, How She Really Does It with Koren Motekaitis,  in this interview back in January 2011, howshereallydoesit  Koren spoke with Martha Beck. During this interview I thought a lot about my inspirational mom who thrives with some of the core beliefs Martha spoke of: confronting fear, do what brings you joy and finding your "woo ho factor."

Bev Bihler, Check Her Out!

I believe my mom modeled these core beliefs. My mom lives each day doing what gives her the most joy, I loved that Martha referred to it as the, "woo ho factor." This made me think of my mom who confronts fear at the skate park. During a skate session she experiences a sense of growth, self-expression and will often yell out "woo ho," with a big smile on her face. Mom began to become a regular at the local skate park at the same time I was 14 and also confronting fear on a skate board.

The little lunch that could

Primarily in efforts to save money and reduce our monthly monies spent, John and I have been attempting to eat in as much as possible. This includes work lunches. It has become somewhat of a tradition with my wonderful co-workers to hit up a lunch place. The past couple of months I looked at my budget and decided that I would try to eat out with my co-workers once a month. That way it would feel more like a fun adventure amongst good company.
Today I decided to tag along with the lunch train and it has proven to be a reminder to myself that simply, it is more convenient to bring my own lunch. It was 11:30 and the talk began amongst the two co-workers I am sandwiched between in our cubicles, "did you bring lunch? Where shall we go today?" This is where I interjected, "I would like to join the lunch fun." Then the waiting game began. Where to go, when to go, we need to invite others, assessment of everyones hunger needs, what time everyone needs to be back at the office, who will drive. It is now 12:30 and we are off out the door. Time out, our volunteered driver decides she needs to sneak in an oil change during our lunch break. I quickly devise a plan to follow her to the corner jiffy lube and she can hop in my car to go to lunch while her oil is getting changed. (Wa, Wa...) We wait and wait for her to come out of the Jiffy Lube, she is calling, telling us to go, get food, but our inclusive nice instincts kick in. So we wait and wait and wait. All right it is 1:00 and and she hops in the car, off we go to Cafe Muse. We all order our food to go, because we now, we need to rush back to the office. I feel unsatisfied, I choose to tag along for the enjoyment of sitting down away from the office, in good company to enjoy a lunch. We are headed back to the office and I eat my greasy fish and chips in front of my computer. The adventure made for a story I will not forget and a reminder that sometimes it is convenient to be a tight wad.

my first time...oh... with sourdough

I am not sure what this blog will develop into. I have many interests that I just want a place to share and document them. Lately, I have been really digging cooking and baking. John's friend Mike gave us a sourdough starter and for the past three weeks now we have been experimenting with baking sourdough bread. There is so much more that sourdough starter can be used for as well. One week I made carrot cupcake and pizza dough. In fact last night John and I had a pizza from the pizza dough that I made over the weekend. We froze the pizza dough shells so that we could just pop them out of the freezer and top them with goodies, "pop and top." Delicious!!

Sunshine

Early morning dog walks light up my day. My pointy ear waggy tail dog also lights up my days.

Moving in cyberspace

I am settling in getting cozy in my new blog space.
Moving from imperfectyoga to karmbru.blogger.com


Technical Difficulties

Technology is meant to make life and mornings flow right? My resistance to using a lot of technology has been because I feel defeated when a computer is not working or having technical difficulties. This morning has been one of those times where I begin to feel defeated by technical difficulties. First my wi-fi connection was down. Last night, I downloaded music from the Broadway Musical by Trey Parker and Matt Stone,  The Book of Mormon. This morning I got up with songs in my mind. I wanted to make sure that the new music synced to my iphone through icloud which I spent time setting up. And now my phone is not able to log on to icloud. So annoying, after spending all the time to set things up that are meant to help the flow of productivity. Im sure there is a section about the technological defeat in one of the hundreds of self-help books that I have surrounded my self by. Realization, I have way to many self-help books and have been semi obsessed with finding more books and theory to help myself. Oh this is quite funny now that I look at it this morning. At least I have not begun subscribing to Oprah magazine.

Getting into the groovey grove

2012 a new year. Out there there are many who are making their new year resolutions. I have never been a fan of resolutions. Usually I find that two or three months in to the process I feel bad about not upholding my side of the bargain.

Therefore, I sit here and ponder to myself- why? Why suddenly I am returning to my blog to write. I made goal aka resolution to myself to practice writing my morning pages on the blog. Just like with any journal I start, it is shiny crisp and new. It takes me days to write in that new journal because I feel I will one day look back and be disapointed with what I had written. Not smooth enough, not thioughtful or inspiring.

This is part of the core negative beliefs that live within me. So today, I get to give myself  a clearing affirmation, which comes from Shakti Gawain's book The Creative Visualization Workbook. The clearing affirmation will balance and challenge my core negative belief. My clearing affirmation for today: I am a creative and insightful woman who has the ability to be myself. I validate myself. It's ok for me to risk being myself. I do not need others' validations. It's okay for me to be an inspiring beautiful success.

Ye ha, I am already enjoying this format of journaling. I have felt blocked to write something that someone may stumble across a web page. The reality is hahaha, no one is going to come across this blog and so really it is for me. I get to get cozy and enjoy the process for myself.